ìAdventures in CHRONIC PAIN FROM HELLî
Still MORE Reasons for Legalizing Marijuana ñ NOW!
Dear Diary: Edition One
Author: Jana Christian
So living in chronic pain CAN be fun after all. Except for when you try to do things normal people do, and find your pain is now up to a level 10 on that stupid scale the doctors always use (how can you measure pain using an analogy like that??? Most of the time my pain and my husbandís is usually beyond that flimsy scale, but I digress)Ö.and youíre in a place that now feels like prison and CANíT GET HOME!! Iím talking about the casino at Foxwoods in Connecticut, my God Ödeliver us from there.
So itís been like 8 years since either of us has been there or ANY casino and NOW, they have 4 casinos which are about as easy to maneuver as a maze; I mean our heads were swimming with the teeming masses of people walking around with their heads up their collective buttsÖ.when youíre in Chronic Pain, sometimes you donít get out much and we were overwhelmed, to say the least.
Well, we immediately run over to the Wampum Club ( cuz when youíre broke, you look for cheap or free stuffÖI even bummed a Camel once to get me over the hump Öbut I digress too ).. and sign up, because of course, we have no real moneyÖ(just these 24 outdated chips circa 1993 which is the reason we came here in the FIRST place).
They explain all the benefits of owning one of these cards, and even give me a $5 food coupon because I happened to sign up in my birthday month. WOWWWWW! Iím somebody nowÖI have my Wampum Club card!
Next we head for the cage where they cash in the chips and all. But the chick at the window says ìwell, these chips went out with the cooling of the earthÖand have been recycled..we canít honor them, but if you take them to the cage in Casino 4, MAYBE they will.î AAAARRRRGGGHHHH@#$%&*@!!
Well, where the Hellís this magic cage? ..so we ask those helpful fellas in the brown garb that are supposed to be some kind of Indian guide, or otherÖIíd rather be lost in the Tundra with the 3 Stooges than some of these guysÖwe checked in with 3 of them and got 3 different sets of directions.
But you donít understandÖ!! weíre disabledÖhave driven 2 hours on fumes to get here just to use these discarded chips we found in the cellar ñ BURIED ñ while we were packing to moveÖwe canít walk much farther with blown discs in our necks and backs, but off we go to Casino 4Ö(mind you, by this time my husband is doing a fast burn)Öand when THAT happens, all thinking goes out the window and I become emotionally invisible and of no help, except to blabber out nonsense about what he should do (which he canít hear anyway), so I canít tell you how far we actually walked before my husband lost it and announcesÖîThatís ITÖwe are NOT leaving this place until we get some justiceÖyou mean to tell me the richest casino in the world can not offer me a lousy $24 after all the trouble we went to getting here? Are you NUTS!?îÖso off we go to another Wampum Club window so we can throw their cards in their faces along with the $5 coupon for foodÖ(I was not too thrilled with that, as my blood sugar was going down like a narc at a biker rally), but I agreed with my husband. And we were again explaining our woes to yet another employee named Linda, who used the brains God gave herÖcould see a situation about to go out of control, talked my husband downÖmade a few phone calls, and VOILAÖ
The casino manager appearsÖwalks us over to a cage, hands our chips over to the teller, gets us some real cash, and weíre setÖthat simple, and all because a few people had their eyes open while most others are members of the walking dead and donít even know it, bless their hearts. Watch out who you ask directions ofÖthey might be more lost than you..You could end up in Tel AvivÖfood for thought.
But it gets betterÖafter they finally DID honor our chips, we took about Ω hour to A) lose all the cash at the quarter slotsÖB) find another 3 ëguidesí to steer us off track on the way back to our misplaced car, which, by the way, was parked in the Handicap parking lot outside and they had directed us to the indoor garage (see we werenít even aware of the layout at Foxwoods, and felt like we had walked in circles for hours), the upshot of which is that thoí disabled and in excruciating pain, we walked almost the whole perimeter of that gigantic edifice called Foxwoods until I recognized our parking lot.
But by that time, we both needed EMS to resuscitate us, but I digress AGAIN. We made it homeÖtook two of everything, and called NO one in the morning. It was the most fun either of us has had in a LONG time.
I guess in the final analysis, we always were our own best guides to begin with. There were only 2 sets of footprints, but we know the truth. We were amazed at how little there is to miss ëout thereí.
Since the 9/11 massacre, we find peace in little things like just being able to wake up and cook a good breakfast, PAIN and all. I figure life is too short and fragile to sweat the small stuff, so I am reborn on this dayÖ.but enough about feelings.
Anyway dear diaryÖgotta work on my bookÖand get some shut-eye. I leave you with this little ditty, where there is medical weed, there is help inDEED.