First of all, I have been the one to encourage and reach out to other pain sufferers on other sites always. I felt a strength as long as I could hang on to a sliver of hope. Without it, I have often said, “we will fall into the deep, dark depths of despair”. I have been falling there often in the last 6 months. I have no energy to describe all the pain, all the reasons, all the loss, becoming dependent, no money status, continual denial of SSDI, the conditions, diseases and types of pain right now. I just want to let it out, I do not feel I can cope with this anymore. I keep thinking today, I do not want to live. It’s useless. Why get up to face another day of the same agony, torture and suffering? I’m so tired. Any feedback from fellow sufferers is welcome.