All posts by Larry from Pinecrest

Every one has to work

I have been dealing with Flank pain of unknown origin, chronic kidney stones, all kinds of gastro misdigagnosis for 22 years. I was the full time care giver for my father with COPD followed almost right away by my mother comming down with ovarian cancer. Now that both have passed, my brother and sister became my trusties. They refuse to give any creedence to this diagnosis. They both have no medical backround and have come to the conclusion that any pain managment doc is only a drug dealer and that I can not afford health inn. And if I want to eat more than my food stamps I need to get off my lazy butt. They both have told me to go hold a sign or be bouncer. They have both told me to get over it, every one has to work. They both have said any time we speak, it is all BS about pain, vomiting. My sister screamed at me that getting to BJ’s to shop for the month is not an accomplishment, yet some days it is an epic journey to do 2 things. I am now living with 2 LPHS diagnosis, no pain meds, no doctor and they not only make me feel like a usless burden but that somehow I have let them down by not living up to my potential. I dont know where to turn for help or support in Miami. Every day I wake up feeling like I have been kicked in the scrotum, the pain causes me to vomit with such force, that I often pull muscles in my back and neck. I was on the 50 pu Fentanyl patch and oral Dilaudid, Morphine for breakthrough. Now on no pain killers, it is such a trial to even be civil. I have no way to get through to my siblings, this pain is horrendous and so arresting, but they treat me as if this “life” is some kind of a choice to avoid employment. I am 47 years old and this is the worst the pain has been. Without the Fentanyl I am getting more done, but the recovery days are lost time of my life.