I was diagnosed with systemic Lupus and Fibromyalgia in Aug. 2000. I already had scoliosis, but never had any problems as a result of it, up until I was having Lupus related problems. Lucky for me, I lived as a military spouse on one of the best medical military posts in the world. The military had no reason to make me continue coming g to the office for ‘follow Suppo appointments, or running all kinds of UN necessary tests, at which the general public doctors are in my opinion,guilty of doing. So it took them only 9 weeks to diagnose mewith the symptoms I was having.
I was sick and had ‘flair ups’ for 5 years. I am very blessed, and ay times actually forget my ‘chronic’ conditions.
The hat trick comes in June of 2011. I was on a family fishing trip on a charter fishing g boat. When trip was over, I was disembarking the boat when my foot hit the ramp, it was wet and I went flying. Immediately my foot was purple! I kept repeating ‘I broke my foot’. The pain wasn’t immediate. I was embarrassed, and jumped up like I was OK.
That night, the throbbing and pain was horrible.
I went to my orthopedic the next a.m. not broke!! How could it hurt so bad?
Months went by, I continued to work because after all ‘it was only a sprain’. I made decision to go to a different doctor when my orthopedic seemed disappointed that he wasn’t going to be doing surgery on a broken leg. I ended up having surgery for torn meniscus. But only after being told I have RSD. Before she could do the surgery, I had to start spinal blocks. Since the day I was diagnosed with RSD, I have gone through denial, depression, anxiety, anger, resentment, confusion, etc.
I have heard ‘well maybe if you get up and move around’ so many times I could scream!
There are days that my foot/ankle look fine, yet I’m in pain. People always say,’well at least its not swollen’ yet I wish it was so I at least had something to show for the inner pain that I’m in!
As I lay here with my leg elevated, my foot is purple and ICE cold to the touch, yet its on fire!!
I wish I could get my family to understand, I may look OK, yet I’m dying inside. Every day I wonder, ‘where will this RSD take me?’ Why is it that I have 3 chronic conditions, with no cure? What can I do to change my situation? Do I want to live my life with this stopping me from doing the things I enjoy?
The depression at times sets in and I feel sorry for myself. My life flashes in front of me, what have I done to deserve all this?
I wonder what its like to be someone else. To live life healthy, happy and free from pain. I realized today, I have lived almost my entire life in pain. Mostly physical, which ends up emotional pain.
I tell myself, this to shall pass……but will it?
One thought on “If my life was a hockey game, I’d have a hat trick!”
I am not in quite the same situation, but I was diagnosed with lupus, then they said well maybe its not lupus and its fibromyalgia…then, they said it was all in my head and that i couldnt possibly be in the pain i say im in. I cannot stand it when people say that its because Im unactive! Im unactive because of the pain, not because im lazy. Ive also had a few say if i lost a few pounds, maybe it wuold help, but Im only a few lbs overweight and i jsut had a baby! I hear you on the being frustrated!