I am 21. I am young. I played soccer for my university, and I was a highly competitive cheerleader. I was a jock. I played every sport. I won races, and competitions. I have jackets, and trophies filling my closet and basement. I was happy.
Then slowly, pain crept in. It took over. It ruined relationships. It scared me. Treatments, and surgeries took over my planner. Nothing worked. I have tried everything. I have travelled to different countries looking for help. I have accepted that this pain will last forever.
Lately things have been very bad. The pain has made it hard to concentrate. Pain meds don’t relieve the pain, and I can barely concentrate. I feel like I’m living in hell. I feel alone. I feel depressed. I need help, because I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know how to live like this. I want to be happy. I want to learn.
I feel like a burden to my family, friends, and boyfriend. I text them constantly and I seem clingy. I am home alone though while they are out. They are the things that make my bad days slightly bare able. Please help. Please give me hope. Please give me kind words. I don’t know how long I can live like this.