Untreated chronic pain hell

In 2003 I broke my neck in an injury, it didn’t happen on my job but at my brother-in law truck he had no insurance and I didn’t either I had no money saved up for medical help. I went to the hospital for 4 days in the row without money or insurance they wouldn’t take mri’s or do anything for me. I hurt so bad I just balled up and cried for one year and 7 months I stayed like that till they put me in csu a place for crazy people i couldn’t eat or use the restroom right i lost weight and couldn’t think right for the great pain after a month later they gave me disability but by then the dics in my neck had damaged 3 nerves in my right arm i had two hole on both sides of my left elbow my left arm now is twice as small as my right with only 25% of strength as my right, they said i also dislocated a disk in my lower back that hurts all the time,now in 2011 they give two pain pills a day that only last 4 to 6 hours the rest of time i just cry and suffer its getting where i can’t live like this i’m either going to go crazy or die because my health keeps getting worse and worse because of this great pain i can’t control. Please pray for me. Michael

43 thoughts on “Untreated chronic pain hell”

    1. i want to die,need to die, chronic pain 35 yrs. have no one no one at all, family, friends, etc. Dont want to hear about God, really, I prayed for my whole life.. ex went nuts, see below
      no treatment here anymore
      been homebound no benefits, pls no lectures on benefits, dont care tried over and over. no state help, have disablity
      drs. wont treat anymore. left me in bed after 35 yrs screaming all day.
      lived with ex for 20 yrs left two yrs ago, no common law here, have nothing he lost my car, wheelchair, etc
      living like i never have need help no hope

      1. oh no free attys here, nothing. moved back home to atlanta 4 yrs ago then he went nuts. i cant live in cold, very ill, need support friends and dont know what to do, yes, called 250 social agencies, Senators, Gov, etc nothing. want a life back

      2. Mine is treated to best state can do scripts left n right. But still in hell pain ready to end my life. The light at the end u looking for is pills they do help dobt cure. As to why no fruends well people I’ve noticed go away cuase friends prefer rising suns to setting ones.we def are the night sky in fI’ll bloom.

  1. Call an attorney immediately. if this is true,It sounds like malpractice to me*. You may be able to recover everything you paid to hospital and more for pain suffering. Most attorneys wont charge if you win anyway, so no monatary risk involved.
    I am not an attorney of affiliated with one, im just trying to help. 🙂

    1. I’ve been suffering from chronic back pain for two years and it is very painful I’m only 18 and old how I’m going to love the rest of my life like this

  2. Awww, Michael I am so sorry that you are in pain all of the time. People that do not have chronic pain have no idea what you are going thru. I do. I have been in horrible pain since Jan 12th, 2004.The doctors have yet to diagnose my pain. They lean to pancreatitis/chronic abdominable pain. The drs. are worried about you becoming addicted to pain meds. Once you are on pain meds for any length of time you become addicted as you know and then you must put up with the medical establishment calling you a drug addict and the “your are not in pain you are just seeking drugs”answer I get all the time. No one in chronic pain wants to become addicted to drugs Please keep the faith I know sometimes you feel like that is all you have. You have a high pain tolerance and they should give you a break because of that. Ask the drs. about long term or time released pain meds like kadain. That is what I take and it does help and work more than 4-6 hrs at a time. I could not live with the pain I have if I didn’t have pain meds and when my symptoms become acute I do want to die because there is no way anyone should have to live like this. If you call it living. I will pray for you that you will find peace and good pain control.

    1. stupid irresponsible ignorant comment.

      People in pain do not get addicted to painkillers.
      People searching for a recreational high get addicted





    2. You don’t become addicted to pain meds if your taking them for pain! You don’t have acute pain if you’ve had pain over three to six months! He doesn’t have a high tolerance, he has been tormented without a choice! You have so many mis statements in your reply it makes me wonder if you’ve really had chronic pain since 2004. If you do it would serve you well to get the facts about chronic pain and opioid medicine. Making the statement you have a high pain tolerance isn’t helpful to people in severe chronic pain and in fact invalidates their expressions of the hell they’ve been living with! Please do your research and don’t take statements about opioid pain meds causing addiction for chronic pain patient as the truth because there is no evidence that is anyone’s outcome and studies actually show there is only a 1 to 4% chance of becoming addicted if you take opioids in a chronic pain situation. It sounds like you’ve had no understanding or facts since 2004.

    3. i have been living in pain for years firm an offshore accident let me tell you people in pain do not become addicted to pain pills in y belief they cant because they don”t really help. they now want to put in a fucking tens unit implant i fear it want work either fuck i am ready for death

          1. Hey Lucas….How you doing? My name is Joey….I read your post..In fact theres alot of posts …Im 53 Ive been suffering with sacrum pain..as well as both legs for the last 7 years.Had a great career cut short with UPS , Wife divorced me…I figured let me contact someone who feels similar…Meds dont help anymore and they have worst side effects than the pain im in and thats freaken a 10 all day…Im probably heading to the E.R before i do something stupid….I have a 16 year old son that needs me around…I live in Fla originally from Ny for the last couple of years…I moved for economic reasons….Its tough…Anyway since your post is recent, wanted to just reach out and see how your coping…..Thanx for reading ,

        1. I am in agony. Multiple reasons. I too want to stop living. Sometimes it’s from second to second, I try to hold on. Why doesn’t someone help us!!!!
          I think about my Grand daughter and focus on her, sometimes it helps for a minute. Why can’t they come up with a cure!!

    4. Hi my name is John I to am in ecrutiating pain . No clear diagnoses but also believet to be pancrease pain is so bad I ask God to forgive me but I just want to die.

  3. My heart actually goes heavy as I read this,….I could never know or sometimes easily forgot of how some of you have to live through this constant, everyday, severe pain feelings.. I really don’t know what to say,..I almost cry when I read this, and I’m a 29-year old guy reading this.
    All I can say is that: you are really strong….for keep living and struggling…
    I know that some could easily just opt to die & commit some suicide,…but you’re not, and still living,…and for that,..I do really admire you so much.
    Your story will always be kept in my heart,..and as a songwriter myself,..I promise & vow that I will create a song dedicated to and about you, and I will share it to my audience,..in hoping people would care more for people like you,..and so the world could be a better place, with your difference.

    1. Have u written the song yet? I’m hurting so bad I really want to die. But I won’t bc I love my kids so much. I wish someone would help me. Ty.

    2. I could use that song too, I also want to die, my back pain never stops 6 yrs now, Florida no Medicaid. I feel hopeless, I have 5 amazing kid I love so much. Don’t know what to do.

  4. Hi Michael,

    I am a nurse and also a patient who has had Chronic Pain for 17 years. My diagnoses are many, and they are serious. We all suffer when one such as yourself suffers as you describe.

    There is no way on earth that the way you are being treated is OK. (Actually you are NOT being treated!) You really have an urgent matter here. You talk of suicide, and when a person gets to that point, the action is not far behind.

    You deserve and need a doctor who knows what is going on in the true world of ongoing, daily pain. It is inhuman to not be treated for your pain. Chronic Pain needs to be addressed immediately, or patients WILL end their lives. This is not a joke, you are in the danger zone right now.

    As a nurse and a patient, I have seen a lot of docs…the good, the bad, the caring and the indignant. I am blessed with an angel of a pain doctor and although it took being treated by some others before, I did find this one and will always thank God !!! If you live in California or close to it, I can certainly give you some names of great pain doctors, and pain clinics. You would benefit from a pain clinic’s total body/holistic way of treating pain. From getting help with depression, to proper exercises that can be done to help relieve pain, a pain clinic will treat the entire PERSON, not just throw a prescription at you once a month.

    It is never all about medications only for pain relief of long-term pain. But, receiving pain meds is a RIGHT. There is even a Pain Patient’s Bill of Rights that says it all. Please go see The American Pain Foundation’s site, @ http://painfoundation.org. There is a plethora of information there. I think you will find something there of help to you.

    Again, if you are in the California area, I would be glad to give you the names of some top-rated Pain Clinics that I have personal experience with either professionally or personally. It breaks my heart to hear you so sad and not receiving the correct treatment.

    Btw, a pain patient that takes their medications as prescribed does not become addicted. They become TOLERANT and DEPENDENT. Not addicted. That word is used incorrectly all the time and it just perpetuates the incorrect belief that everyone who takes one pain pill will suddenly be drooling and ruining their lives to get another one.

    It is imperative to me to educate people about this subject. I have written a blog about my life in pain for the past 3+ years, and making sure that word ‘addict’ is not used incorrectly is one of my missions. We just need to realize that an ADDICT is one in which the use of medications, booze, or drugs has reached such a state that they are affected in their home life, work, social, or any other part of life with the insatiable and constant focus and desire to get high. It has nothing to do with taking medications daily for the treatment of Chronic Pain. Sure, it can happen, a pain patient can get addicted, but it is rare, and usually these patients have pre-existing reasons for becoming addicted, such as previous addiction issues, mental illnesses, alcoholic parents, etc. I just wanted to make sure that the word ‘addicted’ is used correctly in this arena. 😉

    Please contact me via my website if you want any other info on pain clinics, etc. Or just want a person to talk to that understands….you can see that people do really care!!!

    Gentle Hugs—–<3
    Shauna's Life in Pain

    1. Hi,
      I relocated to California and have had no luck in finding a Dr that will prescribe what my Dr in Connecticut does. Hence,why I have to bounce back and forth every month. It’s insane. Im a CPP for 11 year’s now. Combat medic; Paramedic and 15 hour’s at ground zero on 9/11 as a 1st responder. If you have some names of Dr’s that are willing to continue the treatment I receive on the East coast, I would greatly appreciate any help with that. Thank you

      1. Hey brother. 68W and Long Island native. Never been deployed (light on the right 😉 ) but I fucked my back up in training and big old green weenie told me to fuck off. Just had my first spinal surgery (i’m 28) and after 3 years of living like this please know I appreciate your service, sacrifice, and I pray to whoever is out there that you’re still with us. To everybody else on this page, I hope you’re all staying alive and keeping in the daily fight, please don’t give in. We need to find a way to get help without getting labeled. I’m no drug addict, I don’t get high from taking pain meds. I’ve passed more drug tests working in the military and child protective services than I ever thought I would be asked to take but then I started pain management (years ago and terminated) they were worse than the above combined. Stay strong everyone, we can do this.

    2. I don’t know if you still can get this but I would love to get in touch with you Shauna. I can’t see your blog as it is private, I think.

    3. You are so right Shauna and it is my mission as well! I have severe PTSD and worse from years of untreated severe pain forced on me. Only sheer determination and will kept me going like everybody having to survive with this torment only because of ignorance when there is nothing that supports this perpetuating belief and the studies prove this isn’t true. I’m proof it isn’t true! I don’t know how the hell anyone can expect us to get groceries or even get up to go to the bathroom or have any kind of relationship with loved ones! Michael’s story and life should be out there in the media to educate this country on the real atrocity happening right below their noses! It is unconscionable how our so called pain specialists practicing with these beliefs, the DEA, hospitals, and friends and family that are carrying out their daily lives while people with severe pain should be ashamed!! I want to personally thank you and everybody spreading the word in anyway you can because people are ending their lives all alone and in pain without anyone to comfort them every day! People in positions allowing this are monsters!

  5. I have Trigeminal Neuralgia, bilaterally in all three divisions from a head injury, a back that is trying to fuse three levels, and it has cause more nerve damage, Interstitial Cystis and possible pudendal nerve entrapment, and six more disc in cervical spine need a fusion on cervical spine too…. and low back herniated, and bone on bone of both hips and knees. I hurt so bad that I can’t sit very long, and I am not getting the treatment that I need, but I do not want to be treated like a drug seeking addict. I have a back doctor treating me but he doesn’t understand that I have IC and TN and IBS, GERD, Diverticulos, and Migraines from head injury. And that both of those flare the IC and TN , and that I need a break through medicine. I trot to the ER and get no help, they look at me with compassion but are unable to help due to the pain contract. Help in Oklahoma City…..before I GIVE UP> I have also lost 40 lbs due to the terrible pain of IC and Pelvic pain, unable to eat, and my life is getting worse at this rate I will starve to death before I get the treatment I need, I travel with a chorus am retired but I still want to be active as long as possible Help!

  6. Please how can I connect with Shauna? I live in California and in desperate need of pain clinic. I was not permitted access to blog – shaunainpain.blogspot

  7. I have had chronic pain for some years now. There is a major mental problem in this country with people. They do not know that addiction is when someone uses a substance to excape from reality. Someone that uses pain medications to be a functional part of society is dependant on pain medications. Big difference, but most are so mentally out of control that they think any use of any substance is an addiction. Perhaps if people would look up the words compulsion and indulgence it may help. An addict always has a compulsion to do or take things. Someone that indulges does so because they enjoy it, such as sex or a glass of wine. They are in complete control of their actions, but an addict thinks they are when they really are not. As an example taking hyrocodone in perscribed dosage only as needed so they can enjoy life is not an addiction, but using it to feel a buzz and enjoying the buzz and loss of living in the moment is addiction. If someone is taking something so they are not in so much pain that they otherwise would not be able to think clearly they are not an addict, but the immoral majority in the world say otherwise. You know the kind, they would put Christ in jail for changing water to wine.

  8. I’m in so much pain. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. Medications can’t seem to work, and when they do, they turn on me and cause some other side effect that is worse than the condition I was trying to treat. It’s a sad place to be when the doctors just shake their head and say that they are doing everything they can; in other words, there’s nothing much more they can do. I would kill myself but I am scared of the unknown, although it must be better than the hell I am going through now. Still, I would have to do something drastic like jumping off a bridge, so that I wouldn’t chicken out. However, I don’t want my family to have to see my mangled body. Every night before I go to bed, I put everything in order and tidy up, because even in death I have dignity and do not want to leave a dirty house. I try not to picture what I would be like to find my body and how long I might have been dead. I leave important paper work out so people can find it and contact next of kin. I just want to go gently, as I’ve been through enough already.

    1. Hi my name is John I feal just like you I try to clean up the house the best I can when I am able to get up. Just wish God would take me when I am able to sleap

  9. Im 18 and ive been suffering with chronic pain for 8 years now and the doctors wont do shit about it and try to say its something els like a sinus infection or just wont figure out what is wrong, im literally at the point of killing myself because the childhood i would of had if i was not in pain is gone and now im failing school and living a shitty life so i guess the only option is suicide since my parents or doctors don’t take me seriously. im living is constant hell, and i just want to be a kid again and feel happeness again becuase i forgot what it feels like. i get constant headaches that never go away and it feels like im braind dead on the side of my head and my joints constantly ache so does my back i have a wierd red patch with hair growing on it on my middle back and the doctors told me its normal and sent me on my way even tho i told them tht i get constant pain their. i get horrible stomach pain if i eat anything at all and i forget to swallow and blink and my eyes are in constant pain. im drinking plenty of water and eating alot but i cant gain any weight, im 128 pounds and 5,8 and i look like a skeleton. my skin looks awful and i already look 29 and i look sick and pale and its getting harder to breath each year so i guess im gonna blow my brains out good day…..

  10. I am too struggling with chronic illness. I cry and beg everyday for some relief. I have constant stomach pains and diarrhoea and have recently been getting numbness and pain in my legs and feet.
    I used to love my life but now I dread getting up in the morning. I am 38 with a loving husband and daughter. I have a job I love and if it wasn’t for the pain I would be so happy.
    Instead I just want to die. I can’t bear another hour let alone another day like this.
    I don’t know what to do. Please God help us

    1. So you too have found this website. I too am in chronic pain 24/7. I really wish I could die. I often wish I had cancer so I could die. I’ve got arthritis, and Osteporosis, and getting worse every day. All I read on this site is that other people live in this hell that we endure, day after day, night after night. When we wake up we all dread another day. We are scattered around the world. I am a Christian, but, I feel God does not live me and is making me suffer. I still pray and talk to God. I second your call of….Please God help us.

      1. I am sorry you are hurting so bad – and I’m also hurting. I appreciate what you wrote so much. Everyday I deal with feelings as yours. I want to be gone. Your posting helps so much. We are not alone – it feels like it – but we are not.

  11. Trying to maintain hope is a daily struggle I have no income no insurance and living wit LPHS with out any pain medication is so continually horrible . People ( loved ones and family) do not understand the fact that we do not look ill doesn’t mean that now the affliction is still killing all joy and keep saying ” get a job”crippling any felling of progress

    1. Bless you.l feel same!You are not alone by a longshot!Just knowing others are in same boat helps me but does nothing to solve the pain we go through….lt seems they are just not catching up to those of us that have this but l think they are trying. If l had no faith l would be gone long ago.l also cannot keep living like this,we are not even living!Glad you wrote. Linda

  12. I have chronic neck pain and head pressure for 13 months now. I wonder why I keep going but I have 2 son’s who need me.

  13. I to am another mis fortunes who can only stay away from any kind of production or living because I would rather lay in a dark room by myself curled up in my pain away from family and living. It’s been so long tired of the seeking help only to feel like I am seeking drugs All I want us to be normal and to live and able to do the stuff needed in my life without severe pains. Real tired of. Being tired and in pain held back from earning a living and doing normal stuff that I should be able to do.

  14. There is no real HELP out there for those of us in chronic pain. It is either live with it or beg dope from the docs and that doesn’t even work anymore. I am not saying that anyone should consider pain medication unless they are already on it yet the laws are so strict the meds barely make a dent in the pain I feel. Yet we have power, we have the ultimate power…no matter what anyone says, or does, if we cannot choose our lives…

  15. I have chronic pain in my neck. It is a living hell. I don’t believe in suicide, but I understand that ultimate decision. The current political push against opioid treatment is cruel for those who need pain relief just to carry out simple daily meaningful daily activities. Pain relief can make the difference between a meaningful life, and a life of loafing around with misery. I would like to get my neck fixed, so I don’t need pain medication. I have insurance, and have sought treatment. I worked 36 years as a Registered Nurse, and I would never treat my patients with the cold, non- compassionate way the providers have treated me. Chronic pain clients are being overlooked by the opioid crisis. What happened to individualized health care. It is inhumane how people are being treated in 2017 with severe pain. Just take me to a veterinarian, and put me to sleep…humanely.

  16. i want to die, i am in constant lower back pain, im incapabe of talking or interacting with people in any way, im fat and ugly and old and only have 10 more days until im homeless. im covered with mosquito and bug bites anditch all over its humid and 90 degrees and i cant stand any kind of hot weather because it makes me feel like my brain and body are being fried and im being smothered, my husband that i married 2 years ago only will sleep with 15 year old prostitutes and thinks im fat and ugly and old he is half a world away and doesnt communicate. im failing all of my classes i hate myself my dad is dying 2500 miles away and im stuck here with no job no friends no money and soon homeless and a4 loser and in horrible pain, please help me to kill myself please please end it

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