My name is Tania, I am 16 yrs old and my doctors believe I have LHPS (although they are still checking for other possible diseases). I live in a private athletic boarding school miles away from my family and am finding it extremely difficult to get through this health issue by myself. Although I know my parents don’t know what I’m going through neither does anyone at my school, my friends, my roommate, or any of the staff members. I feel very lonely and alone at school. The pain is so unbearable and I am always scared for it to return. I’m tired of being curled up on my bed in pain or on the bathroom floor throwing up. I have been to the hospital many times and sometimes the reason for my pain is very obvious (kidney stones) but other times there seems to be no reason for all the pain, and this is when I start thinking I’m crazy or that it is all in my head.
I don’t want to let people know what is going on, although it is hard to hide it. I feel bad for them when they see me sick or and pain and are unable to do anything, they are unsure what to do to help (there is nothing they can do). I have let this disease run my life, not because I want it too but the pain limits what I can and cannot do. And I don’t want to involve my friends because then I’m dragging them into a problem that’s not theirs and a burden that they should not be carrying. But at the same time I wish there was someone there to hold me when I shake and cry in pain.
ABSOLUTELY NO ONE UNDERSTANDS THIS. My friends don’t understand, they’re telling me to be more positive but it’s so hard to be positive when you’re in so much pain and have gone through so much. If they want to try my life and see if they can be positive at all then they can switch lives with me. I try very hard to be positive all the time about my health situation but sometimes its too overwhelming and I break down and cry. I just wish there was someone who understands. Can you help me?