Hi all. I’m having a really “Bad Pain Day”, as my family and I have less-then-lovingly dubbed these awful days.

I can barely get out of bed, but today with ALan’s help I’ve managed to make it the 50ft. from my bed to the couch.

I watch TV or type emails or letters IF my hands will cooperate. I have to do something to keep my mind off the pain.

I think that if I focus too much on the pain, despair is surely to set in. Sometimes the depression can be as bad as the pain! I begin to focus on what my future could POSSIBLY be like… how much more hell can I take…is there a limit that our bodies and minds can take?

Unfortunately I resort to 100mgs. of morphine and a jack & coke. I know that is hell on my liver. But on days like this… that is the only way. I worry that the “gradual increases” the docs have made with my pain meds. over the past several years have brought me to the limit.

Sorry…my mind tends to run thru all the worst case scenerio’s on days like this.

I know it’s crazy, but somehow just by sharing this with someone lightens the load just a bit.

How do you cope?