I was 15 playing on a football team for Sequoyah Indians . I was a big stout young boy Unstoppable. One afternoon we had a scrimmage with the varsity team, they all try to block me but could not so they put three men against me one fell on his hands and knees behind my legs the other two kept pushing I could not move my feet. my cleats were stuck in the ground and as the other two kept pushing I screamed and pleaded with them to stop but they did not when it was over my feet were in the ground and my helmet was touching the ground bend over double backwards. The pain from that was intense as I lay there for about 5 minutes I wanted to cry but I did not think that I was hurt in any long-lasting compacity I did not see no blood broken bones or anything like that.
So I gotta finish the game and that night my right leg hurts so bad I prayed to God and I was a True Believer then. I asked him to please stop the pain please stop the pain after being up most of the night and I finally fell asleep my life was changed forever that day.
And every day since that day I am reminded of it is constant pain and it gets worse with age does my bones start to deteriorate. It started it what they call a degenerate bone disease comma and then the lower three parts of my back I have no cushion at all it is bone against bone so I deal with that and, being a big boy I was also bullheaded. When I was 24 I had a roughneck throw off a plate of Steel off the rig floor and came down and hit the back of my neck I did not get to go see the doctor until the next day.
When I was 26 I was thrown from the back of the truck to the hard ground on a rig location I hit so hard it left my head elbow shoulder imprint in the hard shell I've never been the same since.
Just because I was bullheaded I managed to stay working until I was 40. When I reach 40 depression despair hopelessness all come flooding in and I lost it I couldn't hold a job the pain was too much and I contemplated suicide everyday was on my mind all the time what's the only way I knew that I was going to be out of pain.
One day I saw a brochure saying that if you live in pain to come see us that we may be able to help. It was from a painmanagement clinic which I didn't know nothing about and since that day my life has changed for the better I still live in pain but I'm not constantly thinking of it it takes enough pain away but my life is tolerable again.
And now the lawmakers the DEA people who have never felt pain want to take away the only thing that works. I don't want to go back to those dark days of thinking of how to end it I have a responsibility to my pets and one person that I really really care about who depends on me. I don't know what to do to plead with the state legislature I am only one man.
And I know there is a lot of people out there who live in pain daily chronic pain that never leaves. What it does to your mind is beyond being immoral and irresponsible for the government take our medicines away. I always feared this day would approach and as it gets closer my fear becomes more real.
If they take our medicines away there is only one outcome left for me and I think a lot of other people also , I know I paid in all my life in pain I still work seven days a week 24 hour call. I paid my dues. Now they're wanting to take away the only relief that helps. What kind of country do we live in to do that to their elderly is that why we have a Marine Corps and Armed Forces to protect those who can't protect themselves? I'm living in fear but for the time being I am able to keep the pain at Bay. But what about that day that I've been dreading for so long when it comes what then that's a big question mark because I know I will be so unstable there's no telling what I would . Signed by Living in Fear.